Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was a cookie-loving zombie alien. One day, he ate all the cookies in his solar system. (Teenagers, what can I say?) So he asked his mom where he could get more. "There are a whole bunch on Earth," she said. "But you have to have their money to get them, and you can get their money by getting a job."
"Okay, cool. See you this afternoonllenium." So he borrowed the spaceship (bet he didn't return it with a full gas tank, the punk) and came to Earth. He landed in New York City. The people had delicious-looking brains, but they were puny. The cookies, on the other hand, were ginormous compared to the ones he was used to. He really really wanted some.
He saw a sign outside a cookie store that said, "Help wanted: Monster needed for children's TV show."
So he went inside and asked what he had to do. When he found out all he had to do was eat cookies as fast and messily as possible, and sometimes sing, he signed on the dotted line immediately. When he was done for the day, he called his mom (and used up all the roaming-galaxy minutes). "Mom!" he said excitedly. "I got a job - and all I have to do is eat cookies!"
"That's great, Alistair," she said. "Who are you with, what are you doing after work, and when are you bringing my ship back?! I have a meeting next millennium and I can't be late!"
"All right, all right. Let me just work a couple more years and I'll be home."
"Fine, but you have to finish your schoolwork when you get back," his mom said.
So Alistair Cookie Monster continued to live on Earth and eat cookies instead of brains, because they're really more delicious anyways.
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