Grace's Book of Necessary Quotations

"Never say 'bad' when you could say 'potentially dangerous.'" -Grace, after Hope changed "bad" to "potentially dangerous"

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." -J.R.R. Tolkien

"Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule." -Stephen King

"Faith, you do look like Cinderella. It's a little creepy." -Grace

"I never saw a purple cow, I hope I never do." -Tory

"I can't live without my Budweiser." -Grandma

"Hey dog, whatcha doin? Dog stuff? Okay, cool." -Steven

"Nobody loves you. Go back to bed." -Me, to the dog

*Hope does something uncouth at dinner*
Mom: "I hope you have better manners than that when you have children." *Mom dips a finger in the butter and licks it off.*

Grace to Nana, on Mom's uncouth behavior: "Did you not teach her any manners, or did they just not stick?"
Nana: "She came like that."

"Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree/ He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee/ One day the elf could take no more/ so he went to bang on the rude dwarf's door/ and what do you know, they suddenly both were marrrrried." --"Elliot"

"The giraffes taste the same as the elephants. That's messed up." --"Boog"

"Not only does beauty fade, but it leaves a record on the face as to what became of it." --Elbert Hubbard

"That's not even real water! It's Star-2-O!" --Sam

*Gracie is distracted by a shiny jewelry department*
Darlene: "You're like a racoon!"

"Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge." --seen somewhere

"What happens in the basement, stays in the basement. ...That sounded really bad." -Faith

"In some things it is better to receive than give. Massage is one of them." - Al Michaels

"WD-40 and duct tape are the only tools you need in life. If it's not loose and should be, use the WD-40. If it's loose and shouldn't be, use the duct tape." -seen somewhere

"We have ... a thirst unquenchable, to allay which he has not shown us the crystal springs. This thirst belongs to the immortality of Man.... It is no mere appreciation of the Beauty before us—but a wild effort to reach the Beauty above."
--Edgar Allan Poe

Grace: You're eating ketchup with your late stew? Were you raised by wolves?
Tory: I don't know, is Daddy a wolf?
Hope: Well, he does have a lot of facial hair.

"There's no such thing as natural beauty." - Steel Magnolias

Faith: I want to watch an exciting movie. Daredevil, Star Wars, Batman Begins,  um....
Mom: How about Mary Poppins?

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. " -Mark Twain

"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." --Somerset Maugham